The story of marriage is always an interesting one but with the usual cliches and quotes that it carries from yesteryear. Nonetheless, this story remains the same, even in the modern age of high-end technology and emancipation of women or whatever high-sounding words one can think of.
The story this time is of a young couple discussing pros and cons of shifting to a new city because the man of the house has been asked to do so by his company. It is inevitable to conclude that the woman should follow suit. She should be able to find a new job in the new city or relocate to the branch office of the current company she is employed with. All this is okay but what about the woman who keeps shifting wherever her husband goes. Even if, she does not have a job. What are her choices in either cases? She is regarded as arrogant in the case where she persists to stay in the present city because of her job. Else, she is asked to make a compromise - against her personal wish, to move out of the city to be with her husband.
Although women liberation and independence are catchwords of many political party agendas, there is no independence for many women in reality. Questioning decisions, going against those and stating personal choices are deemed as selfish motives in the society. The woman gets a praise if she does not indulge into this much thinking. Wonder if compromising women themselves, are thinking about this in the least?
10 comments:
Very True. I myself have thought about this question. I am not married though :) But when people ask questions about marriage and choice of who's and what's about the future, I wonder do they ask the same thing to the girl?
If so, Will I be equally bothered about the person's career as I bother about my own?
I should be and I will be.
I am getting proposals where in the girls dad(most of them are supposedly well educated and broad minded and travelled) says "She has finished her studies and the rest will be decided by her husband"...I just wonder if the girl in question would ever be able to say what she wants in life....and if she does then what would others call her?
My view is that irrespective of gender, respect the persons career and life aspirations just like yours. I do have some good friends who have shifted company or got transfered for the girls sake. Marriage should not be the end of the road for the girls life and career. In fact, the husband must make sure his wife reaches where her aspirations and potential will take her. That is the hallmark of a gentleman.
Hard to find such men or rather, such society of thought these days Karthik!
nice post madam
you have done great hardwork on your blog
keep it madam.
i always appriciate these type of blogs.
may i know are you intersted in link exchange.
thats quite true Shini...the problem with patriarchy is that it is si seeped in our minds that women don't recognise how it is paralysing n limiting them.
what you have said is true in most of the cases but i know a few women who have decided not to hop cities coz of their husbands jobs...it takes courage to take that stand against all expectations...
well things are changing but we are still at the starting line.....there are miles to go!!!
@Youmania - Thanks for dropping by
@ state of mind -
True. It does take courage to make such choices. Life is also about choices anyways. A woman following her husband or not, will anyways face the consequences of either choices. One choice is a compromise of comfort(or being adamant) and another a compromise on sacrifice.
we just tend to take it for granted that its the woman who has to 'make adjustments'. sad it is.
Yes, sad and true. Guess who was the inspiration of the post - myself!
Karthik - you are a gentleman! I wish you all the success !
Shini - The topic is very interesting. Ultimately, it boils down to two individuals in the marriage. Let them understand their priorities in the long journey of life. Each one's environment and context is different.
Well shini, this has become a norm and sth embedded in us that no matter how educated women are , it's the men who are and will always be primary bread-winner for the family and somehow women have accepted it and not quite complaining also.There are ladies out there who are ever willing to forgo their jobs when the spouse moves out to foreign shores coz they take hell lot of a pride in boasting and spreading the word arnd that they r going abroad. In this entire process they hardly realise that they're not just giving up on their job but their individuality as well!!
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