Change

Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. 

Those words of a great scholar caught my eye. Transience, as a matter of fact, has perturbed my mind too often. It is a feeling so trivial and phenomenal at the same time because of recurrence every now and then, that I hardly recollect the mind's reaction to change. Good or bad, changes happen. The lingering of good or bad feelings followed by those are somethings beyond my control. Sometimes these thoughts/feelings over power the intellect causing unnecessary worries, dissatisfaction and delusion into inability to accept life as it comes.

I wonder, if this were the case with the mind, then how does the body react to changes that happen everyday within us. It's a thought to which little attention is paid unless we look ourselves closely in the mirror.  Thoreau was right when he said " Things do not change, we change".

The Mad Ones

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” ~ "On the Road - Jack Kerouac"

 

Madness for me, is a synonym for passion, for excellence, for being.

There are days when I search for people to understand me - the way I am, like the mad ones, as Kerouac mentions.

I find myself being part of a lot of situations, places and people. I consider myself to being their own, madly passionate to understand things inside and around me. I nurture a belonging to those realities.

 

Is such madness suited to our world?

Too much noise

The apartment complex in Hyderabad where I live in, has kids of various ages, but those that are below the age of 3 outnumber the rest. Every evening, as I come tired from office, I am welcome to their playing around the parking lot or at the adjacent kids' park or on my apartment's floor. Most of the time, their noise continues till late around 10 p.m. Their endless chatter and games make the atmosphere lively as I keep watching them from my balcony.

It so happened one fine evening, as I was flipping chappatis in the kitchen, that I heard a group of them rush to the floor. All the while most of them shouting and make noises till they reached one end of the floor. One of them later on, shoo-shoos the entire group and then there is pin-drop silence. I wondered why. Then again, every one rushes back from the other end and this cycle of noise and shoo-shooing continues. Hearing them giggle, I cannot but help giggle to myself and at their innocence.

All of a sudden, one of the neighbors, comes out screaming at the kids - " hey all of you! Too much noise around this floor! Go downstairs and play! Will you? or I'll tell your mom!"

Poor kids, I think, as I hear them slowly dispersing off.

The incident reminds me of how as adults we have changed becoming intolerant to a little noise around us and worrying ourselves with the baggage of tensions, worldly wisdom, grudges and complaints all the time. The kids are a gifted lot though, with their innocence still intact, they continue giggling, shouting, shooing, irrespective of what's happening around them. The kids reminded me of life's lesson. To take it as it comes in life, irrespective of whatever happens around you, keep that "thing" going.

Year of the Void

It is but the topic to write for.

The year 2008 was an year worth living through. Personally that is. As for the nation, well, everyone knows the "downs" that impacted our lives - directly or indirectly - terror attacks, recession, financial worries, layoffs among other things.

By far, besides being the worst year of my life, 2008 meant literally living through silent and invisible hell. And at the end of that hell, stands nothing. Just void. There is this feeling of emptiness from within and nullification of those thoughts that used to preoccupy my mind.

The reasons for the feeling of hell on earth might well be because of personal reasons and several other factors. But, at the end of it all, I thought to myself as I do now: " Did I deserve all this?" or "Why did all this happen to me?" Unfortunately, the void stares back from within myself. No answers, no more questions to myself.

Probably that is what the year meant to leave behind in my life. At the end of all this madness in the world and inside/outside ourselves, there is this ultimate void for sure. It might also mean that no matter how much one may worry, yearn, achieve, lose,win in life - there is nothing going to be left behind us. Maybe this is similar to the end result of a tumultuous period like a war, or a depression and life in general. Just what this year was. An year of void.....

Forgotten Words

Long, long ago... there was a man by the name - Mohandas Gandhi and he said:

"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. "

It has not only made the world blind, these mindless terrorist attacks have made the whole world extremely sad!

It is for the terrorists to tell us - the common Indian - "What do they get from these attacks?" Peace, Supremacy, Pride, Feeling of Jihad??? For what? For killing innocent human beings?? Can they use those dead bodies of common men and women and children for anything??
What are these people angry about?? No one knows the right answer... Probably not even those young minds who were behind the Mumbai attacks...probably they are into it, because someone above them, offered to make their religion proud, or offered to make life adventurous and fun!!!

It is high-time the terrorist groups answer the angry population of India! What is the 'eye' you are fighting for???

Taken For Granted

Life does several things to one's personality. It is sometimes so full of events and everyday monotone, that there is no time for oneself at all. And then we see ourselves taking ourselves for granted.

The inner voice is one such thing - "the" taken for granted thing. My past memories bring this revelation to the front. The philosophically and spiritually inclined say that the inner voice is a manifestation of the Supreme Lord. Sometimes, this thought scares me out of the wits and sometimes it is more than just a "mere fact". How many times has it happened when things happen before our own eyes and we accept it as -is. Maybe our inner voice told us to be aware of such an occurrence. Maybe then, we prepare ourselves subconsciously for the event. Whatever be the case, I have no concrete answers to that question.

And the mind then takes over with these thoughts. Work place or home or other personal relationships, it reminds me that my presence comes as taken for granted. What will happen if I were to vanish from this world for a moment?? Would it make a difference?

Then there are more questions - am I taking everyone around me and their presence for granted? What about parents? How many times would I have taken them for granted? I think every child has a unique answer to this question...

Then the inner voice takes over.
This time I do not want it to be taken for granted. And then the thoughts begin to flow all over again...

Quotable Quotes

Being in the habit of reading quotes off the web, I chanced upon some interesting ones from this link
Some of my favorites and the ones I literally nod at, while reading are:
"Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage"
"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle"
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages"
And the last quote is so true, that I cannot agree more!

Discovering oneself through tags

This is one post where the tagging concept is borrowed from several blogs I have visited.
I am: a dreamer, sometimes idealist
I think: of all good moments gone by
I know: a little bit of everything I think I know
I want: to give to my country in some way or the other before I am gone
I have: reconciled to accept the things they are than changing them
I wish: there were no poor in the world anywhere
I hate: flirts, ego driven, short tempered and "back-biter"/gossip-monger type of people
I miss: my childhood days
I fear: God
I feel: the constant need to change everyday
I hear: music most of the time
I smell: the scent of rain kissed sand just after the rains
I crave: for my own home with my parents and sister
I search: for the person I was before I became worldly-wise
I wonder: why people do the things they do everyday
I regret: words hurled upon near and dear in anger
I love: spending little romantic moments
I ache: when I pass by beggars
I care: about cleanliness everywhere around me
I am not: as egoistic or knowledgeable as some of my relations think I am
I believe: in myself and that destiny is written jointly by God and God's children
I dance: whenever I listen to foot tapping film numbers only when alone
I sing: whenever I like a new song or listen to an old melody
I cry: when I get emotional or think of irritating past memories
I don’t always: want to do something or the other, I'd rather be lazy
I fight: when I see the opposite person speaking a white lie w.r.t any situation
I write: to know myself better
I win: arguments with my husband
I lose: my temper at children subjected to work and smoke of any kind
I never: wanted to be the person I am perceived to be
I always: wanted to meet God and ask Him why He made earth
I confuse: different language slangs while speaking multiple languages at home
I listen: less and hear more
I can usually be found: smiling or brooding
I am scared: of my Dad's temper
I need: to liberate myself from the monotone of worldly actions
I am happy about: whatever I have achieved in Life till now
I imagine: an India - who would supercede the biggest and richest nations in terms of everything I tag: No one, because I know very few friends who might read this post!